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Ask Dr. D - Escaping bedlam is no child’s play

Ivanka Trump shared pics of her giggling three-year-old attempting to make a run of it from the plane.

ET Bureau|
Last Updated: Jan 13, 2020, 10.20 AM IST
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AP
A Secret Service agent stops Theodore James Kushner and his brother Joseph Frederick Kushner, sons of Ivanka Trump, from exiting AF1.
A Secret Service agent stops Theodore James Kushner and his brother Joseph Frederick Kushner, sons of Ivanka Trump, from exiting AF1.
He is one of the leading doctors in the country. He values his privacy (but not of his clients).

Dear Dr D,
The news report about me was couched unnecessarily in baby talk. The headline was relatively direct: “How US Secret Service saved Ivanka Trump from major parenting fail.” Okay. But the text quoted my mother’s tweet: “Theo busted attempting a stealth exit from AF1 last night while I was distracted prying melted M&Ms out of my daughter’s hands,” wrote Ivanka Trump about her son Theodore James Kushner. She shared pics of her giggling three-year-old attempting to make a run of it from the plane as a Secret Service agent jumped into action to hold him back. Thanks to the US Secret Service I narrowly avoided a major parenting fail!” wrote Ms Trump.



I wasn’t giggling. I was ecstatic at the thought of escape from this nuthouse. Grandpa Donald has a kindergarten vocabulary and a fondness for excessive exclamation marks. And why does he TALK LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME!!!?? It’s like he’s the three-year-old. He thinks he’s smart but he’s really as dumb as a brick, though with the power to declare war. Dangerous. My mom is, there’s no getting away from this, a bimbo. So’s my dad. And his brother. My step-grandmom is thought to be vapid, but she’s actually clever. She keeps her own counsel, not because she’s daft but because she knows if she opened her mouth it would immediately become obvious how idiotic grandpa Donald is. It’s lunacy. How do I escape from it all?
Theo Trump,
1600 Pennsylvania


Dear Theo,
All of us are in your shoes today. When I figure out how to escape, I will let you know.

Statutory warning: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.

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