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Jemima Khan seeks Dr D's help, says says she needs a way out of Pak media's madness

Pakistan media recently claimed that Wikipedia is Khan's cousin.

ET Bureau|
Nov 18, 2019, 02.31 PM IST
Jemima Khan (L) posted a tweet about the comment of Pakistan media.
Jemima Khan (L) posted a tweet about the comment of Pakistan media.
He is one of the leading doctors in the country. He values his privacy (but not of his clients).

Dear Dr D,
What is one to make of Pakistan? I don’t mean its state antics as published in your media. I mean its general derangement. Now I’m not a hater of the place. Indeed, I am fond of it as the Pakistan I stayed with my ex Imran (whom you know well) and my boys. But what’s wrong with their leaders and the media? There’s a chap opposing Imran who appeared on TV to say that my cousin Vicky set up Wikipedia which was a Zionist tool. In his words, “Wiki cousin hai Jemima ka.”

I know of the subcontinental inability to separate the sound of ‘V’ from ‘W’ but this was bonkers. In response I put out a tweet saying, “Wait till he finds about my other cousins, Panama Leaks and Vicky Pedia!”

Alas, this has gone down badly in that wretched place and people actually believe that I’ve a relation named Panama Leaks (possibly suffering from incontinence).

Now there is talk that AgustaWestland is my aunty and Rafale my cousin. How does one escape the madness?
Jemima Goldsmith Khan,

Dear Jemima,
One cannot escape the madness in our parts. It is part of what makes this part of the world interesting to study. Our actions are inextricably linked with our identities and we have no individual agency. The important point here is that very soon people will forget and move on to the next moronic thing. This reminds me of a name a Lahore weekly’s satire column used for your ex: ‘Im the Dim’.

STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.
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