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    Meghan Markle's dad struggles to get FaceTime with her, and Dr D ain't impressed!

    Synopsis

    The Duchess of Sussex refuses to talk to Thomas Markle as he leaks private details to the media.

    He is one of the leading doctors in the country. He values his privacy (but not of his clients).

    Dear Dr D,
    I understand that this is being published in the leading business daily The Economic Times. Here goes: My daughter is an actress recently married into Britain’s royal family. She refuses to talk to me, saying that I leak our private lives and her correspondence with me to the media. Nothing could be further from the truth.

    She wrote to me suggesting that I only communicate with her through the tabloids, but as you can see, I am doing this through the pink papers as well. Now I sent her a note requesting a photoop with her, and she replied that “I’m telling you I don’t want to communicate through the media, and you’re asking me to communicate through the media. Did you hear anything I said?” It’s almost like they’re ships passing.

    I don’t recognise the person who wrote the letter, but I love my daughter. All it would take is one phone call — or FaceTime! — and most of this craziness would stop. I felt I had to release her note to the magazines because I had to defend myself. How can I get her to agree to meet me?
    T Markle

    Dear T Markle,
    Diana, the late princess of Wales, had a similar problem with a former lover. He was a soldier who the press called ‘Major Rat’. He put her letters to him on sale. On balance, I see it from your point of view. This is a family that is famous for being famous, and for no real achievement of its own. Wealthy only because of birth. Why should those related to them then miss out? Carry on, Markle.

    STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.

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