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Some of the words Trump uttered at the Motera Stadium were reported as being the names of famous Indians. The trick was to guess which famous Indians.

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Last Updated: Feb 27, 2020, 09.37 PM IST
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Donald Trump
President Donald Trump was on a 36-hour visit to India.
By Anuvab Pal

US President Donald Trump gave a speech to a stadium full of unsuspecting Gujaratis at Motera on Monday. Like that of any great visionary, it wasn’t easy to decipher his words into actual meanings -- as it shouldn’t be. Is Einstein’s Theories of Relativity easy to decipher? Are the Buddha’s aphorisms pat enough to be put on a news ticker or headline? Remember El Don’s now-classic 'Covfefe' on Twitter some years ago? How different is 'Covfefe' really from E=mc2?

Some of the words Trump uttered at the Motera Stadium were reported as being the names of famous Indians. The trick was to guess which famous Indians. Here is a list of names Trump reportedly has of lesser-known Indians, some of which many people thought he actually used on Monday.

1. Swami Vivay Kamundundd: A close Kerala-based relative of the great and more familiar spiritual teacher Swami Vivekananda.

2. Soo Chin TinDulkr: No relative of the great cricketer, but a noted Chinese acupuncturist.

3. ShowRay: Sequel to Ramesh Sippy’s epic film, but which has nothing to do with Gabbar, or Jai-Veeru. This one’s a documentary about an exhibitionist stingray.

4. Sue Neil Gavaskar: Again, not the cricketer, but a Boston-based grandmother.

5. Omit Shah: A minor ruler during the Delhi Sultanate edited out of history.

6. Veerut Kuulie: A kind of neem-based toothpaste that’s big hit in Tamil Nadu. Nothing to do with cricket or any cricketer.

7. Val Hallah Bhai Patel: The upcoming superhero from the next Marvel franchise movie, supposed to be the lost brother of Thor and Loki.

8. DDLJ: Dilwale Donald Le Jayenge.

9. Delhi Lama: A South American camel in an Indian zoo.

10. Rave In The Nate Tiger: An unreleased album of the non-Nobel-winning 90s grunge band Nirvana.

President Trump also visited Mahatma Gandhi’s ashram at Sabarmati and wrote in the guestbook, ‘To my great friend Prime Minister Modi. Thank you for this wonderful visit.’ That’s like someone going to Nelson Mandela’s prison on Robben Island in South Africa and writing in the guest book, ‘Our tour guide is very hot.’

However, Trump has achieved one thing during his visit to Sabarmati Ashram. He’s made it more approachable for regular tourists, like it’s a well-known brunch place (vegan, of course) in Delhi’s Hauz Khas. Most boring folks, like President Barack Obama when he visited the ashram, wrote about the greatness and sacrifice made by the Mahatma, blah blah. Thanks to his successor, we are not far from the day when someone will write, ‘Navdeep loves Sweety’ in the ashram guest book.

Well, he is one of his kind, President Dolan Trump.

(Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this column are that of the writer. The facts and opinions expressed here do not reflect the views of www.economictimes.com.)
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